Last night while I was teaching my life group, I asked my boys a question and got absolutely no response. It was a pretty basic question. No response.

The section of the lesson was about reaching out to people around us when they’re having a bad day. I asked them, “What’s a good approach to reach out to them? Is it better to ask them about themselves or to tell them a story about yourself?” We had been talking about how Jesus reached out to the demon-possessed man in Mark 5. Jesus started by asking him what his name was.

There wasn’t a word of response to my no-brainer question.

I took a different approach that changed everything. I asked, “Has anybody ever asked you how you’re doing? As you’re telling them, they interrupt you to talk about themselves?” That changed everything! They could have talked for hours. The lifeless group of 20 freshman boys had come alive. They were angry because they were all thinking about a time that happened. They suddenly understood the point I was trying to teach. Jesus was able to reach people because he asked hurting people about themselves, and then listened to their responses. He was being the model of how he wants us to care for others.

This radical difference in the life of my students last night reminded me of an important teaching principle: Help students internalize the lesson by relating it to their personal experiences. In other words, make it about them. When they feel an emotion connected to what I’m teaching, the lesson will stick with them long after the night is over.

Don’t you love it when you see the lights go on inside their heads? Let there be light – lots and lots of light.