I was this great post by Jonathan Tripp over at SimplyYouthMinistry.com. The article is about one of my favorite topics: Training Youth Ministry Volunteers. I put a clip below. Head over there to see the entire article.

Training
As a volunteer, I was excited to get to attend training sessions. Now, I get so many thanks from my volunteers for training opportunities. Whether we drive for hours or just across town, time together along with great information makes for a good combination. It always irritated me when I was given a task without enough information. Always make sure your volunteers fully understand what you are expecting from them. Some may need more explanation than others. Don’t assume that just because you’re the youth minister that you can’t learn from your volunteers either. Some may have been doing this longer than you. Sharing ideas and offering training times helps to ensure everyone is on the same page in regards to the youth ministry of your church.

Caring
If volunteers don’t feel cared for then they won’t want to use the training that you provide. I wanted to know that I was being ministered to as well as helping to minister to the youth. My volunteers are the same way. Send them a note. Give them a call. Know what’s happening in their family. I once called one of my biggest volunteers to ask about a new family issue they were dealing with and found out that no one else had called to check on them. It meant the world to them at the time. My wife and I also love to make special Christmas ornaments for them commemorating the year. One of the most special ideas is to hold an appreciation dinner hosted (and served) by the youth themselves to say, “Thank you,” to volunteers, parents, and sponsors for the year of support.

Mistakes
One of the biggest mistakes I have made regarding volunteers is to expect that the outcome of their work will always match the grand vision I had in mind. Don’t be afraid to admit that you made a mistake. Maybe it’s your vision. Maybe it’s their execution of you vision. Maybe it’s that you put the wrong volunteer on the wrong task. If they aren’t successful (at least some of the time) then they won’t want to keep trying. It won’t matter how much caring and training he gets; if he can’t sing then he can’t sing (don’t let him continue to lead worship as youth stop attending). You also can’t be afraid to point out mistakes made by your volunteers. It’s part of training. Be gracious. Be kind. Be honest. Be firm.

Sometimes a student will reveal something monumental in their lives that we’ll need to help them through. Conversations I’ve had or other leaders have told me about include such topics as drug use, gender identity, sexual impurity, abuse, thoughts of suicide, among others. These can catch any youth worker off guard. However, it’s always an honor to be trusted enough by a student for them to reveal such big issues. When we know how to help them share, we can make experience easier for them.

Here are some questions and comments I use to help students share more about their issues:
1. Tell me more about that
2. How did this start?
3. This must have been a tough time in your life
4. Who else knows about this?
5. How did your family/friends react? or How do you think they will react?
6. In an ideal world, what would you like to see happen in this situation?
7. Tell me about your relationship with God while this has been going on. What do you believe he can do in this situation?
8. As I help you through this, that help might not always be easy or fun. You will have to trust me along the way that you’ll be better off as we deal with this together

All of these questions are designed accomplish five goals:
1. Gently pull the information out of them
2. Build a sense of safety
3. Become source of help
4. Create an opportunity to reveal the grace side of God
5. Lead to other questions and deeper conversations.

These conversations are tough emotionally, but are a great pathway toward intimacy between you, the student and God. Once you make it through helping one student, you’ll want to have more.

Three tips about these types of conversations:
1. Reflect their emotions. It’s healthy to have a wide range of emotions throughout this type of conversation including some comic relief. Laugh with those who laugh. Mourn with those who mourn. It’s incredibly draining, yet awesome.
2. Replace surprise with compassion. When you find yourself wanting to screech, “You did what?!?”, that’s the time to hold your composure and affirm them for taking the scary step of sharing it with you.
3. Show tough love. While you are compassionate, understanding and encouraging, don’t be afraid to set boundaries and standards. They’ll still mess up, but with you holding them accountable, they’ll be on the road toward health. If you don’t do this, you’re nothing more than a place for them to dump information to relieve themselves of guilt.

So, what shouldn’t I do?
1. Ask questions that elicit guilt. They don’t help and the student already realizes a need for change (which us the only “healthy” use for guilt in counseling situations).
2. Make comments that might intimidate or cause fear. The only place fear should appear is in relation to the specific steps necessary to move toward healing. Intimidation has no place in the healing process.

Heading into the new school year, here are some blog posts youth pastors may want to pass on to volunteers:

1. Handout for Parents of Students in my Small Group – This is a quick list of expectations they can have of me and I will have of their students. It also includes a tip about my favorite type of cookies in case they ever wanted to send treats. One of the mom’s was very faithful to oblige. Score!

2. What Parents Need to Know – This is a MUST READ for volunteers. The items on this list could make the difference between having supportive/happy parents or complaining/thorn-in-the-side-of-the-youth-pastor parents

3. Helping Families Through Conflict – While small group leaders primarily work with students, we will occasionally have the blessing of dealing with greater family conflicts students are navigating. This post gives some useful tips on how to help.

As volunteers get set for a new school year, I wanted to share some ways to start out strong.

a. Determine to last through the awkwardness

Even secure people who are stable in every way can feel self-conscious when they begin working with students. Stepping into youth culture to care for students is about as natural a feeling for adult leaders as the feeling a student gets when his doting parent friends him on Facebook. The desire to step in and make a difference is rivaled by the uneasiness of reaching out to a youth culture much different than the one you left years ago.

This awkwardness is natural and healthy. It’s a new beginning both for the volunteer and the students alike. As leaders patiently work through the awkwardness and unfamiliarity of working with students (sometimes for weeks), students get accustomed to having him or her around. During this time, familiarity and trust can develop. There are exceptions to this. Some new volunteers will be able to work the room and know every student the first day. That person is not the volunteer who needs the content in this article. I’m writing this for the rest of us.

b. Participate in a trip

It’s common for new volunteers to confide in me their discomfort and feelings of inadequacy when they first join our volunteer team. My pat response to them is to not only be patient, but to go on the next student retreat. This is the fastest way to break out of the cloud of unfamiliarity associated with newbie volunteers.

During a long bus ride, daily cabin times and many meals together, youth leaders will naturally develop deep connections with students. My first 3 months as a volunteer at Saddleback Church’s High School Ministry were a desert of awkwardness. Serving for a week in Mexico with our students was the first time I felt traction as a leader in the ministry. Ten years later, even though I’m still on the volunteer staff, I am the go-to youth pastor to the students under my care.

c. Build on relationships

We recently came off two weeks of summer camp. I had several guys in my cabin each week who I never met before. Many of them are not in a small group. To build on these budding relationships, I’m gently shoving them toward joining my small group. My goal is to continue the spiritual progress they experienced at camp.

Some simple ways I’ve continued connecting with them:
- Friending them on Facebook (EVERY volunteer should have a Facebook profile and encourage students to do the same – I suggest staying away from My Space)
- Post photos and videos of your events with them on Facebook. This should be a requirement for every volunteer because the return on the investment of time is astronomical
- Meeting one of them for yogurt
- Having a reunion event – I’m taking them to 6 Flags. That’s a little over the top. A reunion could be much simpler. Anything that gets them together building new experiences is key to taking the relationships deeper
- Following up on their life issues. At camp some of my guys shared pain they are going through. This provides a great platform for a mentor relationship with them. My role, then, is to give them a safe place to talk through problems and work toward health

I remember the first crisis I had to face when I first started in youth ministry. I was paralyzed at the idea of going into the home of some students I barely knew whose dad had just passed away. I’ve learned a lot since then. Seeing this article from Kurt Johnston and Josh Griffin confirmed what I’ve learned during the many years between then and now, but also made me wish I had this information back then.

The best way to deal with a crisis is to prepare for it before it ever happens. This article will move youth workers a giant step toward that goal!

Here’s a clip of the article. Read the entire text by clicking here

Let’s say that someone in your youth ministry was in a pretty bad car accident and it is midnight. How do you respond to a crisis like this? Here are some principles that should translate to this and other situations:

Be the First to Show Up
In a real way, you are a tangible expression of Jesus Christ in the lives of your students. Showing up immediately in crisis assures them of their connection to God and of God’s love for them. They find incredible value in your presence, so show up as soon as possible. Assure them that God loves them and there is hope. If you have any question whether or not you’re welcome, go and be turned away rather than not go and regret it later.

Be Present
When you’re there, make sure you’ve got time to give them your full attention. There’s nothing worse than something that is an all-consuming-crisis for someone else that doesn’t carry that same weight with you. Turn off your cell phone, make great eye contact, cancel other appointments so you can give the situation proper time. In short… give them your full attention.

Be Available
In times of crisis a family or student may make some special requests of you. Do everything in your power to make it happen, even if it isn’t in your talent

This week I get to talk about one of my favorite subjects: Helping students grow closer to Christ. It’s so great to get to share with others what I’ve been working on for the last year and to hear from them what’s happening in their neck of the woods. If you’re a youth worker, don’t keep what you learn to yourself. Others need to learn and be encouraged by your mistakes and triumphs along the way. We’re not alone, but it can feel that way if we keep it all to ourselves and depend on ourselves for leadership development.

I started this blog so I could share what I learn about youth ministry and learn from others through comments and guest posts. It’s kind of cool to get to do it in person with a few hundred at a time. I get to do the same session again this afternoon. As Rick Warren says, “We’re blessed to be a blessing.” It’s so great to be part of the blessing… which is, in itself, a blessing.

If you have something you would like to share something you’ve learned on this blog, please click here

For many which only partly include getting to share with other youth workers, this has been such an amazing week!

This August I’ll be part of the Celebrate Recovery Summit. My specific role will be helping teach the breakout session about The Landing (recovery from life’s hurts, habits and hang-ups for students). This program has been a big help to students at Saddleback Church.

If there’s any way you can make it to this year’s Celebrate Recovery Summit at Saddleback Church in Lake Forest, CA, sign up now. The conference is a month and 1/2 away, but it’s already 2/3 sold out.

To register or learn more, click here

The newest youth pastor at one of the newest Saddleback church campuses has a new (fairly new) blog that you should check out. He’s got a great talent and passion for youth ministry. His name is Rob Ham and his blog is IHeartYouthMinistry.com