As volunteers get set for a new school year, I wanted to share some ways to start out strong.

a. Determine to last through the awkwardness

Even secure people who are stable in every way can feel self-conscious when they begin working with students. Stepping into youth culture to care for students is about as natural a feeling for adult leaders as the feeling a student gets when his doting parent friends him on Facebook. The desire to step in and make a difference is rivaled by the uneasiness of reaching out to a youth culture much different than the one you left years ago.

This awkwardness is natural and healthy. It’s a new beginning both for the volunteer and the students alike. As leaders patiently work through the awkwardness and unfamiliarity of working with students (sometimes for weeks), students get accustomed to having him or her around. During this time, familiarity and trust can develop. There are exceptions to this. Some new volunteers will be able to work the room and know every student the first day. That person is not the volunteer who needs the content in this article. I’m writing this for the rest of us.

b. Participate in a trip

It’s common for new volunteers to confide in me their discomfort and feelings of inadequacy when they first join our volunteer team. My pat response to them is to not only be patient, but to go on the next student retreat. This is the fastest way to break out of the cloud of unfamiliarity associated with newbie volunteers.

During a long bus ride, daily cabin times and many meals together, youth leaders will naturally develop deep connections with students. My first 3 months as a volunteer at Saddleback Church’s High School Ministry were a desert of awkwardness. Serving for a week in Mexico with our students was the first time I felt traction as a leader in the ministry. Ten years later, even though I’m still on the volunteer staff, I am the go-to youth pastor to the students under my care.

c. Build on relationships

We recently came off two weeks of summer camp. I had several guys in my cabin each week who I never met before. Many of them are not in a small group. To build on these budding relationships, I’m gently shoving them toward joining my small group. My goal is to continue the spiritual progress they experienced at camp.

Some simple ways I’ve continued connecting with them:
- Friending them on Facebook (EVERY volunteer should have a Facebook profile and encourage students to do the same – I suggest staying away from My Space)
- Post photos and videos of your events with them on Facebook. This should be a requirement for every volunteer because the return on the investment of time is astronomical
- Meeting one of them for yogurt
- Having a reunion event – I’m taking them to 6 Flags. That’s a little over the top. A reunion could be much simpler. Anything that gets them together building new experiences is key to taking the relationships deeper
- Following up on their life issues. At camp some of my guys shared pain they are going through. This provides a great platform for a mentor relationship with them. My role, then, is to give them a safe place to talk through problems and work toward health

This week I attended a funeral for a good friend’s mom. While he’s in his mid-40′s, he’s still very close to his youth pastor. His youth pastor was even one of the speakers at the memorial service. He told a funny story about the first time he met my friend’s mom and how he and my friends’ family have done life together.

Being a youth worker myself, it reinforced the need for me to intentionally do family ministry. At the start of this school year, I met with parents and corresponded by e-mail with them several times. The close relationship displayed at this week’s funeral was a great reminder for me to not only minister to my students, but to reach their families as well. Doing life together with entire families can extend the life of my ministry to my students and will be a source of great memories for everybody. It’s not scientifically tested, however, it’s a good hunch that reaching the entire family can also reduce students walking away from their faith when they graduate from my ministry.

“And he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern.” Mt 6:33 (NLT)

My pastor called all of the men of our church together for an early-morning meeting today. He shared a lot of vision for where we’re going over the next ten years. One thought that has stayed with me and I’ve been reflecting on is that all of the things we want in life can be ours as we seek God first.

Of course, our wants may change as we seek God first. That’s kind of the danger in fulfilling our part of this bargain. However, if we’re drifting through life unfulfilled, there’s a good chance we’re not abiding by the Matthew 6:33 promise.

• Is your ministry where you want it to be?
• Are your students responding to your challenges the way you hope they will?
• Are you living a life with a deep connection to your creator?

“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” Mt. 6:33 (NIV)

This was a word of wisdom I needed for today. I hope it’s helpful for you, too!

I’m bringing in 5 new students into my small group in the Fall. We’ve been spending a lot of time together this summer getting to know each other. One of the issues that’s come up is the city curfew which is 11:00 for drivers who have had their driver license for less than a year. Some of the boys are in that category and have not been making it home on time. The other night one was stopped by the police and let off with a warning.

For some reason, even though I’ve been at my church for 11 years, this has never been an issue. However, yesterday I had conversations with two of the boys’ moms about making sure they don’t stay out passed 11:00.

In my early days of youth ministry, I might have felt attacked that they brought this to my attention or felt the weight of the responsibility to make sure the boys went home when they were supposed to.

Today, however, I take a much different approach:
1. I thanked each mom for bringing it to my attention
2. I agreed that is an important issue
3. I explained that the boys do need to be responsible to get home on time and respectfully told them that I could not bear that responsibility.
4. I assured them I would announce that they need to make sure to be home by curfew
5. What they do after they leave is their responsibility… including the consequences.
6. I move the conversation to a different subject because I love getting to know parents and encouraging them about their kids.

Both moms were happy and appreciative of these comments and commitments.

Partnering with parents sets them at ease and creates a great source of support for me as a leader. They can fill in the gaps of what I don’t know about their kids and help me out with logistics or supplies as I lead their sons in small group. By getting to know parents, I’ve also made some close friends. Everybody wins.

By knowing how to communicate with parents, I set healthy expectations about what my role is, what their son’s role is, and how we can support each other in the task of raising them up to be godly and responsible men.

This has nothing to do with me, but it made me feel good to see it.

A guy I follow on Twitter sent a message to encourage his youth pastor from his teenage years. I love stuff like this! I thought I’d pass it along because I know other youth workers will be encouraged by it, too.

We help leaders last when we encourage them along the path.

“Therefore, encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:11

Perry Noble wrote this excellent blog post. Some of the points won’t apply directly to volunteers, but the principles behind them will. Here’s a clip. Head there for the rest.

I’ve been reading through the OT lately and have been challenged by the downward leadership spiral that Saul went on…here are TEN signs from his life that point to a leader “losing it.”

#1 – The ministry he leads moves from being about the name of God to the name of the leader. (Compare I Samuel 14:35 with I Samuel 15:12!)

#2 – He gets impatient with the process that God is taking him through and thereby tries to “make something happen” rather than waiting on God’s timing. (I Samuel 15:5-10)

#3 – He makes self centered leadership decisions that slow down the people he works with rather than empowering them. (I Samuel 15:24–notice the references to himself in this verse.)

#4 – He refuses to completely obey God because it places him in uncomfortable situation. (I Samuel 15:1-9)

Click here to read more…

We have a big problem in our high school ministry. More students than our leaders can handle want to be in small groups. While I love the desire or our students, it kills me to know that there is such a great need going unmet. I’m going to do my best to do something about it… hopefully with the help of our volunteer team.

Last Sunday I came across 2 students who go to the same school as the guys in my small group. They want a group and I can’t let them go without one. It goes against my nature as a youth worker. However, my group is outgrowing the room we meet in and my capacity to care for them effectively. So I’m going hunting.

Twice this week I told people to consider who they think may make a good volunteer. From those 2, we already have 1 potential volunteer. If we got 20 more leaders, we could easily overwhelm them with students.

Here’s how you can help:

1. If you are a Saddleback Church High School volunteer, please help me on this mission. Let’s build our team so we can meet the need. Have potential volunteers contact Jessica or Ryanne.

2. If you’re a volunteer in another church, consider how having more volunteers could help your ministry. You make a much better recruiting agent than your youth ministry staff. Help them out and build your team.

I’m excited to see our team grow!

Tonight one of the small group leaders called to share his concerns about not going deep enough in his teaching. He’s been a little self-conscious since two of his guys gave that as their reason for leaving his group for a group at another church. This is understandably difficult on the self-esteem and confidence level.

What this leader will find out is that students will come and go for a variety of reasons. If he commits to last over the long-haul, he’ll begin to realize students can be flaky and shallow. These students who left are great boys. They just jumped ship for greener pastures (I realize I mixed metaphors there, but go with it).

As a veteran leader who’s been through a few incidents like this, I’ve learned to heal and move on without letting the actions of students destroy me or cause self-doubts. I love being able to coach a struggling fellow leader through the frustration and feelings of inferiority they can cause. Until a leader’s youth ministry skin thickens up, it’s a great feeling to reassure, lend an ear, and offer support.

New leaders
1. Know this is a common part of youth ministry
2. Pair up with a veteran leader who can help you evaluate stuff like this, learn from it and adjust
3. Focus on being a discussion leader more than a lecturer
4. Remember your challenges. You’ll refer back to them when you help other struggling leaders

Veteran leaders
1. Use what you’ve learned to reassure and train those coming behind you
2. Consider starting a blog or posting your thoughts on this blog as a resource for others
3. Partner up with one or two newer leaders to help them navigate their way into solid youth ministry

Thanks Kurt Johnston for posting this on your blog so I could share it on VolunteerYouthMinistry.com. I’m so incredibly glad this video serves as a warning to me instead of a “what-was-I-thinking” regret.

I filed this on my blog under “How to last in ministry.” The concept is you last in ministry by learning from the “whoops” of others.

If you’re interviewing for a youth ministry position, Tim Schmoyer has created a list of red flags to watch for and what they mean. Be sure to check it out to save yourself from getting into an unhealthy church environment.

I’ve pasted a few of them below, click here to read the rest.

2. We don’t have a job description for the youth pastor.
Translation: We don’t really want to define what your role is here because we’re not really sure what we want you to do except for keep us happy. We like to have the freedom to keep you guessing as you default to a performance/numbers driven ministry.

4. You’ll have total freedom and support to build the youth ministry that you envision.
Translation: We would really like you to feel that way because we want to make a good first impression on you, but you’ll really only have freedom and support if we decide we like what you’re doing.

5. The salary might not look good on paper, but there are many other benefits to this job than money.
Translation: We’ll expect full-time hours from a slightly inflated part-time salary because you’re working for God, not for man, and your reward will be in heaven. Since this is your holy calling, you can’t say no, so we feel like we can get by cheap and thereby put undue financial strain on your family.

7. The position is part-time right now, but it will be full-time soon.
Translation: We can’t afford a full time guy nor do we yet see the need for 40 hours a week, but if we hire you and you bring in lots of new tithers, maybe we could do it then. (Hint: This never happens.)