Knowing What To Own When Communicating With Parents
I’m bringing in 5 new students into my small group in the Fall. We’ve been spending a lot of time together this summer getting to know each other. One of the issues that’s come up is the city curfew which is 11:00 for drivers who have had their driver license for less than a year. Some of the boys are in that category and have not been making it home on time. The other night one was stopped by the police and let off with a warning.
For some reason, even though I’ve been at my church for 11 years, this has never been an issue. However, yesterday I had conversations with two of the boys’ moms about making sure they don’t stay out passed 11:00.
In my early days of youth ministry, I might have felt attacked that they brought this to my attention or felt the weight of the responsibility to make sure the boys went home when they were supposed to.
Today, however, I take a much different approach:
1. I thanked each mom for bringing it to my attention
2. I agreed that is an important issue
3. I explained that the boys do need to be responsible to get home on time and respectfully told them that I could not bear that responsibility.
4. I assured them I would announce that they need to make sure to be home by curfew
5. What they do after they leave is their responsibility… including the consequences.
6. I move the conversation to a different subject because I love getting to know parents and encouraging them about their kids.
Both moms were happy and appreciative of these comments and commitments.
Partnering with parents sets them at ease and creates a great source of support for me as a leader. They can fill in the gaps of what I don’t know about their kids and help me out with logistics or supplies as I lead their sons in small group. By getting to know parents, I’ve also made some close friends. Everybody wins.
By knowing how to communicate with parents, I set healthy expectations about what my role is, what their son’s role is, and how we can support each other in the task of raising them up to be godly and responsible men.
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Filed under: For your newsletter, How to last in youth ministry, Training
[...] Volunteer Youth Ministry–A great post from a great blog. Dennis blogs from the perspective of a volunteer youth worker (a perspective close to my heart). This is a GREAT post about what to “own” when communicating with parents. [...]