The open microphone segment came with an unwelcome surprise when a student leader from my team got up to share. In front of 150 students, their parents and church staff she made some jokes about my driving; about how scary and dangerous it was. All of this was her genuinely trying to be funny, not damaging to my reputation.

However, with every word that came out of her mouth my heart sank. I could feel the crowd’s trust in me eroding with each syllable; trust built up during 10 years as a leader. I can’t do anything about this. I can’t defend it or dispute it even though her words aren’t true. Her good-natured jokes are in the minds of hundreds of others as facts that can’t be taken back.

I share this on my blog for two reasons:
1. It’s a great reminder that, “Appearances are fact in the eyes of the uninformed.” – Doug Fields
2. We can’t control what others do or say in a moment of spontaneity, but we can be more sensitive about how our own words can be perceived, misconstrued, or affect others. Thinking about the impact or effectiveness of our words before they’re out of our mouths can help prevent us from doing damage that sometimes can’t be undone.

I know I’ll be okay. My reputation as a long-time leader will supersede these comments in the eyes of the staff. The high school ministry staff can cover any backlash from concerned parents… if there is any. It was, however, an unfortunate use of a microphone that stung me badly in regards to what I see as the most important part of who I am – a youth ministry volunteer.

Actions I’ll take in response to this:
1. I’ll send an e-mail to the high school staff clarifying that the student was trying to be funny and that our students’ safety was one of my greatest concerns on the trip. Josh Griffin, high school pastor, blogged about this in response to my e-mail to him – click here to read his comments
2. Communicate to the student in a loving way the effect those words could have on her audience as well as their perception of me and the high school ministry. She doesn’t deserve to be scolded. Her heart was purely out to have light-hearted fun at my expense. She just needs to understand the importance of choosing her words more wisely.
3. Hope that’s where it ends